In The End
by JadenTheFangirl
Summary: Loki has been returned to Asgard to receive the punishment for his actions. Which only fuels his hate for all who wronged him. The one without his hate? The one who he he'd always hate; Thor. He never gave up...and it seems he's succeeding. Until the moment he fails Loki, and leaves him to run to the worst possible refuge...that may just be the safe haven he's needed all along.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The golden walls of the throne room shined from the shimmering flames of the many torches. Within the throne room, the Allfather stood before his throne, gripping his spear. Standing by the throne was the queen, Frigga. Four guards stood in the distance, waiting on any order Odin may give.

The Allfathers' eye locked upon the God whom was on trail this day, still bound in chains, knelt before the throne. The one who must face the justice he deserves.

"Loki Laufeyson. You have endangered the lives of your people, the Jotuns, and the humans. You have taken to life of a Jotun, and may lives of the humans. You endangered your loved ones, betrayed them…" Odin's voice boomed, speaking of the God of Mischief's crimes. His eye was accusing and showing hurt as he asked, "…and for what…?"

The dark-haired God looked away, glaring at the ground. He was still muzzled but even if he was not, he would have avoided explaining himself to Odin.

Odin gave a wave of his hand to a guard and then to Loki. He guard walked to Loki, who looked to him with a death glaring, daring him to do anything. And he did, reaching forward to unlatch the muzzle from behind. Loki allowed him to do so, sighing as it was removed.

"Explain yourself." Odin demanded.

Loki simply laughed, a dark smirk on his lips as he watched the Allfather. He noticed Frigga standing in the corner. She seemed saddened, unhappy…and disappointed. He just rolled his eyes and looked away from the both of them.

"You would stand here and receive your punishment like the stubborn fool you are, rather than giving a plea?" Odin questioned.

"Why give a plea if you would simply chuck it aside for my actions?" Loki countered, still smirking but his eyes showed a mixture of amusement and anger. "All that needs to be said is the truth that has become the son you claimed to love; I am the monster you raised me to become."

"Loki-" Frigga began in a voice slightly shaking with anger and sadness, but Odin shushed her before she could say anymore.

"For your actions against the innocent, you are to be punished. At dusk each day, you shall receive such punishment before the Aesir. One punishment each day at dusk for every life you took. You are to be confined to your cell after the wounds are well enough cleaned and partly healed, ready for the next punishment. You shall be brought two meals a day. One in the morning and one after your return from your punishment. If you fight against such, the punishment shall be doubled." The words of the Allfather were booming and unquestionable. Frigga looked to him in anger, before turning to leave the throne room, knowing she could not question his command. She remembered how she had failed to do so with Thor's past punishment. She simply could not take it.

Loki shook his head, smirking. "She never could handle the discipline when one of us did wrong."

"Her disappointment is too much to handle." Odin spoke.

Loki glared. Disappointment…he despised the word. "But who was the disappointment? The sons who did wrong, or the failure of a father who made all the wrong choices with his sons?"

"Silence." Odin said to shut him up.

"You know, with my freedom of speech with the muzzle gone, I don't believe I shall be silent. Come, Odin, do you truly think you are a wise father? Look at the family you raised!" Loki said, laughing. "You have failed, you have created failures! You simply decided, in the end, whom to give your last bit of faith to and whom to let to fall into an abyss of darkness!"

"I said SILENCE!" the Allfathers' spear slammed against the ground, the sound bouncing off the walls and back. Such an act made Loki flinch and silence himself out of habit, before he just smirked and laughed once without humor.

Another wave of Odin's hand, and the guard returned with the muzzle. Loki tried to stand and move away, only to stumble to the ground and begin crawling away. Another guard came forth to hold him in place as the other guard tried to place the muzzle back upon his mouth.

In that process, Odin had summoned another into the throne room. And when that God saw the sight of Loki's stubborn struggle that was, in turn, causing him pain, he spoke.

"Brother, please…do not fight it." came Thor's voice as he stepped down the stairs, before Odin stopped him with a slam of his spear on the ground. Thor lowered his head, stopping, but looking back to Loki with a slightly sad but determined look.

Loki glared at the sight of the fair-haired God. He still struggled against the guards actions, though. "Keep that damned thing away from me!"

"Thor Odinson. You are to escort to prisoner to his cell. His muzzle and chains are to stay unless I say otherwise. Understood?" Odin looked to Thor, his good eye narrowing.

Thor nodded, bowing his head. "Yes, father." with that, he walked forward and motioned for the other guard to assist holding Loki still as he took the muzzle from him. One guard placed a hand on Loki's forehead, holding his head against his chest, making it hard for him to struggle and the other held his arms still. Thor hated to sight, but even more, he hated the seething and pure hate that flooded Loki's eyes as they watched each other.

"…Imagined slights, hmm?" Loki spoke with a laugh, accusing him.

Thor's brows furrowed, but he said nothing and raised the muzzle back to Loki's mouth. The raven-haired God still struggled, but in the end, knew he had to allow it. Thor soon had it back upon Loki's mouth, latching it in the back. He removed his hands carefully, the two guards letting Loki go and he dropped back to his knees, glaring to the ground.

"…Come, brother." Thor said in a weak voice.

Loki glared up at him, strands of hair falling into his vision but still, the glare was just as strong and just as full of hate.

Thor sighed and brought his brother up to stand. Loki yanked free of his grip and walked on, Thor soon walking by his side. He led him on, gripping his elbow despite Loki's struggling against it, heading for the dungeons.

They found the dungeons empty, except for the few servants cleaning it. None in Asgard were ever foolish enough to commit punishable crimes and if they did, they were smart enough to hide it well. Loki? He did not care who knew of his actions, he just acted upon them. And this is where he found himself for those actions.

Thor brought him into his designated cell, making sure he was within it. He came in as well, not shutting the door and leaving just yet.

Loki just glared at him, wondering why he was even still here.

"…Loki…" Thor began in a weak voice, which reminded Loki of when he visited the Thunder-God upon Midgard to sway him not to return. He looked away as Thor continued. "Brother, I am sorry…for how I have failed you. I do not approve of your actions…but I do understand some were provoked by the wrongs of our past."

Loki's body shook as he made a sound like a cough, which was him chuckling shortly.

"…Please…just cooperate. The more you cooperate, the sooner your punishments shall be done and over with. I cannot stop what has to be done…" he said that unwillingly. He wished that it did not have to be done. Yes, Loki had done such wrong…taken so many lives and threatened more. But Thor just could not bring himself to hate and condemn his brother completely. It was impossible. "But brother, I will be waiting at your side when you are in need of me. Just as long as you cooperate. As long as you make this easier."

Loki laughed again and turned his eyes upon Thor. With magic which he seldom used, simply to keep it secret (and one of his weaker forms of magic that he could use, since Odin's spell upon his magic prevented it's more powerful use), he spoke to Thor's mind then. **When have you ever known me to make things easy, Odinson?**

Thor sighed. "Please, brother. You have done wrong, but I cannot blame you and I will not fully do so! I will do my best to stand by your side and aid you when needed, but I cannot if you are not willing to allow such."

**And why would you help me? You're more a fool than the damned Allfather…**

"Brother, I do not condemn you, I forgive you!"

Loki's eyes went wide at that. **…You lie…**

"That is your skill, brother, and you wield it better than I." was Thor's simple response to such an accusation. "…I wish to help you in your trail, brother…please allow me. I will not fail you again."

**Don't even try to say you don't see the failure I am…don't try and tell me you don't think I'm a failure.**

"…Because I know you won't believe it, I will not say it. And if you believe such of yourself, brother, I will just say this; you simply have yet to achieve and gain what you must and need. And I will do my best to help you do such. If you would only promise to cooperate."

Loki glared, unwilling. He turned away.

Thor knelt in front of him, offering his hand. "…Promise me, and I shall promise you."

Loki stared at Thor's hand. Why should he even agree…? What good would it do him?

"Brother…I promise, when this is over…I will show all of Asgard the true you…that you are my equal. That you are a prince and my brother. Brother, I will insure you know peace again."

Loki continued to stare, but there was just a small spark in his eyes as his brows furrowed.

Thor gave him a warm, encouraging smile. "I promise you, brother. Now, shall you promise me?" he moved his hand closer to Loki, inviting his hand in return and for him to make him the promise.

Loki looked away, little faith in his mind. But though that faith was little, it was not lost. And despite himself, despite every part of his being that vowed revenge…he let that faith take him in that moment and he moved his chained hand to take Thor's.

Thor smiled, gripping his brothers' hand.

"Do not worry, brother. You are strong, you will make it out of this. And I promise, I shall be at your side, if you would be at mine in the end."

Loki considered how he could take advantage in the future. Go along with this, and he'd gain Thor's trust. But still, the faith was in him.

**…I will hold you to that.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

There was a clank and a splash as some items were clumsily placed before the door of Loki's cell as it was shut again.

The guards had come to remove the muzzle for the time being, and left him to his food. Loki looked up at it. Bread, leftover meat and a bowl of water. He rolled his eyes.

"Eat up, Laufeyson. You'll need your strength for the trail." one of the guards ordered and Loki could hear the smirk in his voice.

Loki glared at the ground, considering playing stubborn. But he had not eaten in days. The days he had spent, after returning to Asgard, laying in wait for Odin to tell him his punishment, he had not cared to eat.

But in the end, he decided such stubbornness would end up being a foolish act when his hunger truly gripped him more than it did now. He had confidence in himself that he could handle his punishment, though…. Nothing could be much worse than those damned powerful illusions Thanos gave him…

He pulled the tray of food and the bowl of water in front of him. He picked at the bread, eating small bites. He sighed, this food was obviously a left over from a previous meal, its taste was lacking and he was sure the meat was the same. But he continued eating.

Loki took the bowl in his hands, tipping it to his lips to let the cool water rush down his dry throat. The only good portion of his meal was the drink, sadly. But Loki did not push the food away. He was nearly finished with the bread and meat, a few bites left as he took another sip of water. It became as gulp, his thirst present. Water seeped from the edge of his mouth from tipping the bowl so high.

Just then, the door opened again and the tray was kicked through the door and out of the room, the bowl taken from Loki's hands. He glared, wiping the water from his mouth. "I would object to such sudden removal of my food, but it's such a poor portion I dare not complain."

"A prisoner such as you is not worth the time to prepare a proper meal." the guard scoffed as another came in with the muzzle.

"Oooh, you showed me just how lowly I am, with such words." He said sarcastically, acting offended.

The guard came forth with the muzzle and when Loki turned his head reflexively, the other moved behind him to grip his head, keeping it in place. Loki glared, his jaw set. Instinct had him wanting to struggle, avoid the replacement of the muzzle on his mouth, but he kept himself in place.

Once the muzzle was on again, they let him be, shutting the cell door and leaving him alone again.

Loki moved to sit against the wall, arms folded across his knees and his head dropped back as he shut his eyes.

This is where his turn of fate had brought him. To a cell to rot alone, only the oaf Thor to give him company and bring him to some form of punishment each day. Could Thor's promises hold true? Or should Loki only keep faith in himself and play the trickster against his brother as always?

Why should he even have to ask himself? Back on Midgard, he would not have graced that choice with much thought and yet now, he did. Why? What was different from then and now?

He sighed, breathing through his nose and his eyes slowly opened. He would endure his fate, his punishment, with no other choice. He would not break, no matter what was to come to him. This family broke him once, he would not allow it to happen again.

When Loki's cell door opened again, it was Thor standing and waiting.

Loki only glanced at him, looking away again to the wall of the cell.

Thor walked in, kneeling beside his brother. "…It is nearly dusk, brother…nearly time."

Loki looked to him, raising a brow. **You think I'm going to go willingly? **

Thor sighed and lower his voice to a whisper. "You promised, brother…"

**I promised nothing.** Loki's eyes showed that he would be smirking. **I would have to speak to truly promise, and I am unable to speak…**

Thor dropped his head, wishing his brother wouldn't be so difficult. To his surprise, though, Loki began to stand then and he stood with him. The guards returned within the cell then, Loki resisting the urge to glare at them.

"…They are here to prepare you, brother." Thor explained, trying to keep his face blank. But the way he seemed to be avoiding Loki's eyes, he was sure the preparation or need for it was something Thor did not like.

The guards walked forth then, taking the chains and moving them to latch upon the wall. Loki struggled out of instinct, wondering why they were doing such. His chains were now attached to the walls, his arms out to his sides and his chest exposed. He glared that them.

They then took out separate knives, coming toward Loki's arms with them.

Loki's eyes widened and he struggled even more, though it did nothing, his chains were latched too securely. Loki looked to Thor as he struggled. **What the hell kind of preparation is this?!**

"Do not struggle, brother, it is not what you think." Thor said, hating the sight of what seemed to be distress or fear…or whatever weak form of it Loki possessed.

**Thor!** even with simply Loki's mind speaking to Thor, such a cry caused an ache in the Thunder-Gods chest.

The guards reached Loki then, but he wiggled his arms too much for them to do what they must. One of the guards sighed and punched him in the gut, Loki halfway keeling over, his struggle stopping. "Enough squirming…"

"Do not lay your hands upon him like that!" Thor pushed him that guards away. "That was not called for, nor was it needed!"

"He was struggling!"

"Because the both of you were coming towards him with weapons he registered as dangerous!" Thor growled. "Think better of your actions before you act upon them, fool!"

The guards glared and sighed, walking back over to Loki who slowly looked up to glare. The two guards then began cutting away Loki's clothing upon his torso then. They sliced up the sleeve, over the shoulders, removed the harder parts of it with more difficulty before tearing his torso bare of clothing. Loki's glare was full of annoyance at such actions.  
**Why in Helheim are they removing my clothes!?**

Thor came forward, pushing them aside and removing Loki's chains from the wall. "…Your back must be bare and exposed for the punishment, brother…" he informed Loki and it registered in the raven-haired God's mind what his punishment would consist of. Lashings…

Thor draped his cape around Loki's shoulders once his brother was removed from the wall. Loki looked up at him questioningly, but when Thor did not answer, he did not argue. Thor looked to the guards. "I am escorting him, you may leave now."

With that, they did leave. Thor soon followed out through the doorway, an arm around Loki's shoulder as he pulled him along. Loki hunched over, not completely welcoming the touch. But he welcomed the clothe that made him less exposed, so he unwillingly leaned into Thor's form, seeming to almost hide in his side. Thor's arm around Loki's shoulder tightened.

The halls were barren on their way to the stadium. It sounded so quiet. Loki was sure most of the kingdom was sitting, waiting, impatient to see the traitor prince receive his just punishment…

**…Who knows; this might just be more enjoyable than your battles that you put on in the stadium for the kingdom, to show off. I might just out-do you yet, brother…** Loki thought with dark amusement to Thor.

"This is no joking matter, brother, nor will it be an enjoyable experience for any in the kingdom." Thor said.

**That is where you are still blind, brother, and still a fool.**

"I am no fool, brother, not any longer." Thor's voice leaked with hints of annoyance that he kept under control. That amused Loki.

**Oh, but you are. You said that you all mourned for my 'death'. And you believed that? **

"You doubt my despair, brother?!" Thor turned on Loki, letting him go and removing his cape as he stood before his brother in the old, black-stoned hallways. Were any actions from Thor truly so scarring to make Loki doubt how he cared for him?!

**You said you all mourned, brother… Tell me; did they all sit in despair and woe, knowing they had lost a prince? Did any weep, other than you or mother? ** Loki raised a brow.  
Thor was quiet, for as he remembered, he had left a grand feast that was held in celebration for his return and for the war ended and threats gone. He had seen his mothers' sadness, his fathers' guilt and he had felt sorrow. But…the Aesir, during the feast…

**And you, they wept for, brother..**

Thor raised a brow at Loki's seemingly harsh words. Harsh with anger. "What do you mean?"

**They wept, worried and strived to return the Golden Son home, Thor. I was here, I saw how lost they were without you. ** Loki glared, remembering how it had been without Thor here. He had hated him for being gone, but hated him more at the thought of him returning too late, to possibly ruin his plans he had been left to make. **You were cast down, powerless. But alive, yet they ached for your return, to know you were safe! They were willing to commit treason to return you!** he thought of Sif and the Warriors Three…how he hated them. **I fall to what you all think to be my death, AND YOU DO NOTHING!**

"How could we know what had happened to you, brother?!"

**Odin could have and you know it, he has the power, as well as Heimdall at his disposal! But he was too happy to be free of my trouble! And what did the Aesir do brother?! Tell me how they mourned! What happened while I was gone?! Do not lie to me!** Loki could not believe the anger he let surge through him, but he took calming breaths through his nose as he glared at Thor. The anger and pain came to him so well in this moment.

"…There was a feast…but only in celebration of my return and the threat of war gone, brother." Thor explained weakly.

Loki shook his head. **My death was something to celebrate for them, they didn't have to worry for the traitor outcast any longer. So glad the possibility of me ruling was gone away. **

"Brother, that's not-"

**Your delaying my punishment, Thor. Bring me along, if you would so please, unless deep down you wish Odin to be angry with the delay just to double my punishment. ** Loki thought harshly.

Thor sighed. He tried to come forward, to offer the cover of exposure once more, but Loki walked on and he followed after.

Once arriving at the entrance to the stadium, and hearing the collection of chatter, Loki was sure nearly the whole kingdom was here. And whether Thor believed it or not, they were here in anticipation, ready to see Loki in pain.

Thor took a deep breath and turned to Loki. "…Are you ready?"

Loki was quiet and did not answer, standing there, and waiting.

Thor turned back and pushed the doors open. They swung open slowly and loudly, the light of the soon setting sun shining through. It shined upon the barren dirt of the center of the stadium. There was mostly dirt, rocks, and pebbles covering the ground as Thor lead Loki to the center, but Loki's eyes spotted the few stains of spilt bloods' past. He gave a short chuckle to himself. Now the ground would welcome blue stains.

Finally in the middle, Loki glanced up to see the stadium nearly full. Of course. In a boxed spot in the audience, he spotted a tired looking Odin. He still sat up straight, ready. Frigga sat downcast at his side.

Loki looked to Thor and raised a brow. **How much shall we bet that the Allfather will give a speech before calling forth his punisher? **

Thor rolled his eyes, only to find Loki was right as Odin stood then, slamming down his spear to stop the quiet chapter and gain attention.

"Loki Laufeyson, adopted son of mine, true son of Laufey; you have been brought forth to receive your punishment that you have condemned yourself to. You are to be lashed by the whip every passing minute until the sun has nearly set. Should you fight it; should you struggle, your punishment will last until the sun sets. When it is over, you shall be sent back to your cell to be healed and fed. This is the punishment for your actions against your people and risking the peace of the nine realms." His voice boomed and echoed throughout the stadium.

Loki didn't even look at him, he just kept his eyes down.

"…Father…shall I remove his muzzle, or must it stay?" Thor asked then. He wished for Loki not to have such a still-present discomfort, with what more he was to soon experience.

"He must wear is still, Thor."

Loki turned his gaze slightly up to Thor. **He dares not uncover my mouth and leave me free to cry out, Thor. He doesn't wish to feel the guilt. **

Thor cast his eyes downward. Because he wished Loki did not have to experience the pain that was to come, but also at the thought of Loki's cries… He could not…would not hear them, if he could help it. He would break at such sounds. He remembered their battles together against enemies, when Loki was wounded and the cry of surprise and pain. That had frozen the blood in his veins.

Thor took a few steps back as the punisher came forward to the center of the stadium. He held the whip in his hand, the leather wrapped around his forearm. The leather was covered lightly in what seemed like shimmering blue and red dust. Loki's eyes widened as he realize what that meant. It was coated by the essence of ice and fire.

He glared at the ground, his back tense now.

The punisher pushed him to the ground, giving Thor a glare when he stepped forward. The cell guards came to Loki then, placing a wooden log upon his shoulders, latching it chains on it to where Loki's arms resting upon the wood, adding extra weight to his shoulders. Loki was on his knees, sitting upon his feet and looking out to the crowd. His eyes were heated with pure hatred.

He took in a deep breath when he heard the drop of the leather whip, disturbing the dirt only a little. His breath came in slow, and released only a bit quicker. He heard the crunch of rocks under the punishers boots as he stood in place. His breathed in was quicker, and the breath out more so. He heard the whip moving again.

Loki's breath was become quickened as he waited for the pain to come. The waiting was the worst, his entire body tensed and distressed until finally-

CRACK!

His back arched back as he gasped through his nose, moaning into the muzzle. His breathing was quick and angry after that, at the sting the lash, the stab of the ice and the burn of the fire pulsed in a line down his back. And he would feel this again and again, every minute that passed until the sun had set enough for Odin's liking.

Loki's eyes had been shut tight, but they opened wide then as he took deep breaths through his nose, gripping the wood, trying to dispel the pain upon his back. He had experienced similar and worse from Thanos, and it was easier to blur his mind of the pain now, so just do it! All it is, is physical and you know well enough, the physical pain isn't any close to-

CRACK!

A muffled cry was almost heard through the muzzle from Loki's surprise and then anger. He hunched over, taking deep breaths, his chest rising rapidly, shoulders hunched and rising up and down with the breathing and the weight of the log. You are the prince of chaos, Loki, you will not be defeated by this!

He could feel the cold, wet liquid of his Jotun blood, seeping slightly from his wounds, for the second whip had overlapped the first. The cold blood seemed to strengthen the pain of the ice. Yes, he was Jotun, a Frost-Giant, but in this form, his was still vulnerable to being pained by ice.

A few more deep breaths through his nose before he held it in and-

CRACK!

It was easier to deal with this third time, but still, it pained Loki. He gripped the wood tightly again, his nails digging and causing a bit of blood on his fingertips.

And the Thunder-God could do nothing as he watched his brothers pain…watched the look on his face…seeing the dull, blue blood running down his back. He had to look away every now and then and was angered when he saw most in the crowd were watching intently…as if, like Loki said, they were enjoying it.

This was Hell and Thor just wished to dispel it all.

But he could not. He could only stand there, witnessing the Mischievous Gods' pain from the lashing, for each minute that passed of dusk. Every agonizing minute…

**Don't you touch me! ** Loki barked, stumbling to the cell floor as he hurried to get away from Thor, whom had brought him back. Thor knelt by his side, worried.

"Loki, careful, you still bleed from your wounds!" He tried to get a hold of his brother, to make him sit straight but Loki smacked his hand away with both of his chained hands.

**The wounds you watched and let happen! **

"I could do no more!" Thor told him, but there was obvious pain in his voice. "Had I stopped it, father would double your punishment and I would not be allowed at your side any longer! And you know those guards shall be harsh upon you, I will not let that happen!"  
L  
oki cast his eyes down, pained and angry and full of hate. Yet the pain stood out when Thor saw it, because he saw it was not simply physical pain, but emotional. Loki hid it far too much, but sometimes, it shown through.

Thor reached within a pouch he had tied to his side and from within, he removed a healing stone. Loki looked to it, and then at Thor. Suddenly, Thor lay it on the ground and reached for Loki.

Loki flinched back, his pained glaring eyes on his brother. But Thor still reached his hands and the gripped Loki's face.

"Let me remove this, brother…stay quiet, and none shall know of its removal…" Thor said softly as he unlatched the muzzle, dropped it to the side.

Loki took shaky breaths through his mouth now, his mouth red from it stretching in yells against the muzzle. There were even small scraps from where his skin had gotten so rough, it broke.

"Brother…" Thor sighed at the sight.

Loki said nothing at first, before carefully opening his mouth. "…Did I not tell you…they would enjoy my pain?"

"I do not care for them, Loki, only you. Now keep your mouth closed." Thor instructed. Loki's brow furrowed in confusion, looking to Thor to see him pinch the edge of the healing stone.

Thor placed the glittering dust from the crushed part of the stone upon Loki's lips carefully, Loki flinching and almost backing away. Thor traced his thumb and forefinger across the top and bottom of his mouth. The raven-haired God's lips shimmered with light before it was healed; only leaving the faintest pink color.

Once the pain from his mouth was gone, he felt just a bit more relaxed….the pain from the muzzle against his screaming mouth had been hard, but he could not help it with how much worse the pain of the whip became.

Thor broke the stone in half then. "Turn around, brother."

The way Loki looked at Thor…hesitant, but trust growing in his eyes…it reminded him that this was his younger brother. The one he had defended in their younger years and did his best to keep from harm. His throat dry, he swallowed as Loki turned.

And the sight of his back made Thor flinch. It almost seemed in shreds, dull blue staining the skin.

"…I must wash the blood first, Loki…" Thor said regretfully.

"…Then do it quickly…" Loki's voice was thick and worn.

Thor left for a moment, shutting the cell door on his leave, but returned quickly after with a large bowl of warm water and a rag. "…This shall sting."

"It's been stinging, burning and freezing for half an hour, brother. No different…" Loki sighed.

Thor dipped the rag into the bowl then and rung it a bit before raising it slowly to Loki's back. Carefully and gently, he dabbed Loki's right shoulder. Loki flinched, hissing but he stayed where he was, his back tensing as he allowed Thor to continue.

The Thunder-God continued, trying to keep it as gentle as he could but still cleaning the cold blood away and he did it as quickly as he could.

Loki flinched every now and then, but biting his lip, he stayed quiet and as still as possible as his brother cleaned him. When he was finally done, he placed the blue rag in the slightly blue water and pushed the bowl aside. He took half of the stone in his hand once more.

"Lean forward, brother." He instructed and Loki did so, hunching over and resting on his arms. Thor crushing the stone over Loki's back, showering his skin with the dust. Loki's back shimmered from the wounds, continuing to do so until he was healed and the light died down.

The scars were now simply pink lines upon his back and Loki sighed in relief, still hunched over.

"Better?" Thor asked softly.

Loki just nodded. He sighed and sat up, turning to where his side faced Thor. It was then Thor noticed there was something upon Loki's chest. He focused on it…it seemed like some strange, dark infected spot or burn on his chest.

"Loki…what is that from?" he questioned.

Loki glanced down at his chest and caressed the skin there. "…I do not know. I've had this for a short while, never knew where it came from…"

Just then, there was the clank of the guards' armor as they were coming. Quickly, Thor grabbed the muzzle and replaced it upon Loki's mouth with an apologetic look. He grabbed his stone and put it in his pouch. Loki crawled to the wall, not wishing to be near those guards.

They brought the tray and bowl to Thor and handed it them. Loki chuckled, knowing they would have simply dropped it, had he been alone.

Thor took it and with that, they left them be. He turned to Loki with the tray and placed it between them with the bowl, leaning forward to remove the muzzle again. "I would bring you more appealing food if I could…" he sighed.

Loki chuckled. "A prisoner deserves no better than scraps, apparently." He moved to take the bread, but Thor grabbed it before him. Loki looked at him in confusion. Thor tore the bread apart and moved the smaller piece to Loki's mouth, offering it…feeding him. Loki did not open his mouth at first.

"Come, brother, it is not so strange for me to assist your eating. You remember that time you had been stricken with such illness you could barely sit up? I had fed you, happily, glad I could be of assistance during your worst days…" Thor said, remembering the days, and feeling his own words and how they could apply to the present.

Loki was still quiet, but he took a breath and slightly opened his mouth, allowing Thor to slid the bread within his mouth before beginning to chew. Thor smiled that warm smile he had and Loki's gaze dropped away. He soon swallowed and his gaze moved to the bowl of water. Before he even lifted his hand, Thor had noticed his gaze and grabbed the bowl for him.

"I'm no child, Thor…" Loki said quietly, watching him.

"…You are my brother, Loki. Let me care for you, for I have failed in doing so." Thor said gently.

Loki watched him, brows almost furrowing as he fought those previous feelings of feeling abandoned by Thor in his time of need. Thor moved the bowl to touch his bottom lip and waited for his brothers' lips to part. When they did, he carefully tipped the bowl to his mouth, the cool water rushing down Loki's sore throat and soothing it.

Thor continued to assist Loki with his meal, not allowing his brother to lift a finger and despite himself, Loki allowed it.

Loki thought to himself though, as he finished up eating and his brother was gathering the dishes that lie in the cave to place them outside. Thor seemed to be holding true to his promise so far…more than he thought Thor would. He felt he could easily question his brother, even ridicule him for his assistance. But it seemed too much of his being was welcoming it, welcoming the assistance. Part of that younger brother he had been and was, the one who had been so lost without his brother at his side…it welcomed his brother.

…Loki could make it through this punishment, he knew. And held trust that Thor would hold true to his promise. Whether Loki would hold true to his own, he had yet decided. But for now, he did not think on it.

"Farewell for the night, brother. I pray sleep takes you and comforts you. I shall return." Thor told him, bowing his head after he had replaced the muzzle back upon Loki's mouth. Loki nodded to him and with that, Thor left.

No, not decided just yet…not completely.


	3. Chapter 3

hapter 3

"We shall be the warriors and defenders of the nine realms, forever and always!" the young blond prince called out proudly as he stood upon a boulder in the forest behind the palace, brandishing a branch as a sword.

"Forever, fighting side by side?!" the raven-haired prince asked excitedly, climbing up to join him. Young Thor nodded proudly, swishing his 'sword' through the air, making random yells and noises that he thought were appropriate and needed when sword-fighting.

"For Asgard!" Thor thrust his 'sword' in the air, smiling widely.

Loki chuckled, calling out the same, but he had raised his hand only to have water from the nearby flowing lake float and hit Thor in the face, soaking his hair.

Thor grumbled at that and turned a glare at Loki.

"Ehehehe…!" he giggled to himself, almost bent over with laughter, a wide smile upon that pale face.

Such a smile could have lighted the darkest corners of the cosmos, had it not been poisoned.

With that thought, Thor stirred in his bed. Thor's mind surrounded the images he'd just experienced in slumber. Those days, so innocent and full of goals, dreams and fun. Of expectations and hopes. Of possibilities.

Now…dark clouds seem to surround them, their harsh rain changing all it pours upon.  
But Thor so wished the clouds could be pushed away. As he climbed out of his bed, dressing for the day in his clothing in armor, he saw those smiles within his mind. Such smiles on Loki's face had been so wide, his eyes full of peace, and his chuckle only showing glee.  
Now? His eyes shown dark amusement and pain, those lips pulling into a pained mock of a grin, and his chuckle was jaded and malevolent.

Thor secured his vembrace upon his forearm and looked down upon it—the emblem of Loki's helmet was still upon it, created upon his wishes some time after Loki's fall into the abyss, when Thor had thought him dead. It was a symbol of Loki being a falling comrade…a fallen brother…truly missed.

He looked around the room then, dressed, and within his mind, he made a decision. He would insure Loki would smile his true smile once again. He would bring such a smile to his brother face once again. He would insure his brother was brought happiness after all of this.

He left his chambers then, his path leading him through the dungeons. This was becoming such a familiar path to tread, rather than one neglected as it had been years before.

As his feet led him on, Thor's mind took him through the days that had passed. A whole weak had gone by. The punishment hadn't gotten any easier. Thor found himself having to looking away throughout most of it, if not all. And each minute was one of pain for Loki. But over the days, he was already growing stronger. It still agonized him, but he fought it better and it did not break him. Thor wondered if anything could anymore.

Loki did not let the pain consume him; he simply shut it off in his mind as best he could until he was healed again. Thor was thankful his brother was able to do such, but another part of his mind felt sorrow…that his brother had dealt with such pain or despair before that he had even LEARNED how to do that.

He would insure Loki never came across another situation where such must be essential. He would live peacefully, Thor would insure it.

Thor reached the cell then, and opened the door carefully, not wishing to disturb his brother if he was asleep. He moved in slowly, shutting the door and he scanned the room to find Loki lying against the wall, head lying back and eyes shut. Maybe now was not the best time… Thor turned to leave, he could simply return later.

**You visit me only to leave, brother? How rude, and I've been waiting all morning. **

Thor chuckled softly, hearing his brothers' voice in his head and he turned. Loki's eyes were opened slightly, watching his brother as he still lay comfortably against the wall.  
Thor walked over to Loki slowly, coming to sit beside him. "I thought you might be resting, I did not wish to disturb you."

**I'd rather be awake with you here, Thor, than trying to sleep only to be woken harshly by those guards. ** Loki thought. He took a deep breath through his nose and sighed. **Are you going to remove this damned thing from my mouth any time soon? **

Thor nodded and moved to remove it, unlatching it in the back and placing it between them. Loki adjusted his mouth, opening and closing it to get used to the freedom again.

"Much better…" he sounded relieved.

Thor looked to Loki, observing his face, his thoughts from before returning to him. Loki seemed content enough in this moment, mainly like he was dealing with a small frustration. But the tired look in his eyes, barely noticeable, withheld more of his emotion. It withheld the anger, weariness, hurt…that hurt was hard to decipher, hard to know just how deep it ran and how severely. Loki was good at hiding it.

Loki glanced up at Thor and raised a brow. "You watch me so intensely, Thor, it makes me uncomfortable…"

Thor dropped his gaze. "My apologies, my mind was running away from me."

"And where was it running, might I ask?" Loki said. He cared little, mainly he was curious. He tended to be very curious of his brother. He confused him still. He questioned why Thor would be doing anything for him, but he was growing to accept it. But…he still wondered why…why would Thor care so much? Why would Thor be so comfortable in his presence after how Loki threatened his life in the past? And why did he himself even accept Thor with him now…? …Did he truly feel he needed such company?

Did he actually want it…?

"…Places of worry and memories long past, that is all…" Thor gave a weak smile, leaving it at that.

Loki raised a brow. "Well, that's informative, your state of mind is much more clear to me now."

Thor did not wish to reveal to Loki how he wondered and worried about his weaker state of mind, how he wondered when Loki would break. He only wished he could keep his brother together in such a moment.

Loki was irritated. For a liar such as he, he could not seem to tolerate lies or truth kept from him by others. It seemed that when others' lied, he was either amused by it, had to point it out for how weak it was, or strive to figure out just what truth they were hiding with lies. Then again, had the lies told to him not made him the liar he was now? Loki did not like Thor's silence, so with the same magic he used to communicate through their minds, he tried to search Thor's mind and thoughts. It was a struggle, with his magic restricted and weak, but he still tried.

Thor felt his thoughts, and the dream being pulled to the forefront of his mind without his even thinking of it and he became confused, only to realize what was happening. "Loki what are you doing?!"

"You keep truth from me, brother." Loki accused. "I've had enough of that in my life." He looked through the thoughts and memories, before sighing. "So sentimental…" he rolled his eyes, turning his face away. "It doesn't suit you."

"You mean such unnerves you, to know I wonder and think such of you. You don't like being thought of as weak or possible of breaking." Thor responded.

Loki glared, "I am not weak!"

"I did not say you were, I just stated that you do not like being thought of as such."

"You believe it of me, don't you?! You think I'm a weakling, don't you?!" Loki accused standing and moving away.

Thor stood as well. "No, brother… You are far stronger than many I know of…sometimes, in some ways, I feel you are stronger than me." He corrected him. "But we all have our weak moments, Loki, where we finally break and give our all away. I simply worry when that shall be for you…and I hope to be there…"

"I will not break…" Loki glared away.

Thor stayed silent. Loki hated the idea of such weakness, but with all Thor had been blind with his brother with, he knew Loki would have his moment. In the past, his weak moments have been small and fleeting. But it would not be when the time came again.

"…I can't break…" were the next words that came from Loki's mouth, an angry and defensive tone.

Thor looked to him at that. "…You can, Loki… No matter how you might not wish for it…how much you might even fear it, you can. And I shall be there for you. I promise I shall."

"I fear nothing." Loki turned his glare upon Thor. "…And why should such words comfort me…?" he looked away again, questioning the worth of Thor's ability to comfort him, as a jab against his brother. But he hated how he felt that…he wished for that comfort. Why should he wish for anything from Thor?! Was he truly letting his brother affect him?! He sighed. …Did he truly miss him so much deep down?

Loki's entire being denied the words when thought, but some part of him deep down knew better…

Thor watched him sadly. "…Because…I wish to be the rock, the one whom must stay strong for you, in your darkest moments. In your most vulnerable…I…" Thor saw it with his mind. He wished to embrace Loki in his tight embrace, telling promises of peace and love and worth in his future. Of no failure, of no hate or pain. He wished…for more, but would not say it.

He saw the look in Loki's eyes, the curiosity, and so he stood. "I see I have angered you, brother… I will return to escort you later today…" he gave a bow, wishing to leave before Loki could pull such a thought as he just had.

Loki was surprised by the sudden leave, but let him go after Thor had latched the muzzle back on his mouth. With him gone, Loki was now full of conflicted feelings. His time on Asgard, with only Thor as company, was getting to him.

He wished he was not here, back in a place he had come to detest. He wished he was not damned to only be comforted by Thor, the brother who had wronged him and whom he had wronged in return. Why was there any care left in their relationship, from either of them!? They should hate each other; they should have killed each other by now. Loki considered it in his mind, if only he had killed Thor one of the many times he had a chance before.

But when he felt his heart skip a beat, his eyes widened. No, he could not care… No! Thor had wronged him! He did not need him, Thor had failed him! He had left him; he had to act so foolishly and start a war, only to bring Loki to the worst realization of his life! And he was not there to help him through it, as he had been there for Thor so many times in the past when he needed comfort, or kind or needed words! He had no reason to care for his brother, nor should he feel the need for his comfort any longer! He has grown, grown far past the need of help from another! He is alone, and in that loneliness, he is safe, secure and content! He needed no other way of life!

The silence of the cell was too unnerving, Loki's thoughts and anger echoing in his mind. But he tried to calm his mind, and began wondering when he would be brought breakfast. It came soon enough, and just like with the timing of which it was brought, the food was not pleasing. But what other choice did Loki have? To starve himself? He just sighed and ate what he was given, as quickly as he could. He knew the guards would tear his food away from him before he was done if he took his time.

They stood in wait, watching or glaring at him. Loki swore internally, the day he was free, the two of them would know his wrath. So fully that they would regret every action they took against him. He matched their glares with his own as his food was taken, mostly finished. He was taking a big gulp from his bowl of water when it was snatched away.

"You're done, Laufeyson." The guard grumbled.

Loki raised a brow, his mouth unmoving, before he suddenly puckered his lips and spat, a spew of water hitting the guard in the face.

He growled in anger and raised his hand, bringing it down to smack Loki across the face. With that, and after replacing the muzzle, they left him be, slamming his cell door shut.

Loki just looked the ground, where his head had snapped after such a smack. And he simply smirked.

~~~

Loki knelt upon his knees once more, as he was growing accustomed to doing. Even with the healing Thor gave him, the less severe, but still present pains were neglected. And with that, they were left. His fingers' stung from their scrapping against the wood, his knees pained from so much time on the ground, with extra weight and the jerking of his pained body not helping at all. But he withstood it all.

CRACK!

Loki gasped through his nose. That strike had slashed across three other wounds and Loki felt the sting, burn and stabbing cold overlap and double across his back. He breathed deeply through his nose, trying to gain control of his senses. His rough and slightly bloodied fingers gripped the wood upon his shoulders.

And with the next CRACK, he heard a chuckle follow afterwards from behind him.

…The punisher…was laughing. He was enjoying this pain he was causing. Loki knew that amusement well enough. This Aesir was delighted to be causing this pain.

Yet another soul Loki owed wrath to. Loki's eyes blazed. He seemed to be growing that list more and more. The Avengers, the Aesir, the guards, this Punisher. He shot a glare up to the Allfather then, narrowing his eyes. Odin…yes, even him. They would all know his wrath, they would know-

CRACK!

Loki arched his back, before curling forward, feeling so weak and tired. From the extra pain, possibly, that the Punisher was giving in his enjoyment, Loki felt as if this time of punishment was lasting far longer than the others. But he could push through it, still… He's done so with each punishment so far in the days that had passed, he could go on. He could push through. He could-

CRACK, CRACK!

The double lash jolted his body back up, his scream muffled by the muzzle as he fell backwards on his back. The wood crushed his hands to the ground, his back stinging and aching as the opened wounds hit the dirt. He writhed on the ground, struggling to get his pained back off the ground. Gods, it hurt!

The Punisher chuckled and, taking the wooden log in his hands, he lifted it and with it, Loki. He was back on his knees, but nearly falling forward, his shoulders rising rapidly with his struggle for breath. Thor was making his way closer, angered.

There was a crack, but it was not one of the whip. Instead, it was the crack of Odin's staff upon the floor which he stood.

"Enough. He has received his just punishments for this day." He spoke to the Punisher and he turned, leading Frigga out of the stadium as the rest of the crowd of Aesir rose to leave.

Loki's eyes were shut tight, his anger and pain and hurt coursing through him in this moment, gripping his entire being in such a negative energy. Always, he had been the outcast. Never had these damned beings showed care for him, and learning of his true heritage, that gave them a more justifiable reason for their actions. And now, they had their chance to enjoy his downfall, his agony. His 'parents' thought this was a punishment he rightly deserved. The only one who even showed a care? The same one Loki blamed the most, and hated… The one he felt he hated so deeply…

Loki felt the chains being unlatched from the log, and the log soon removed, the air hitting scratches on his shoulders he had not even realized he had. The one Loki felt he hated the most, then took him in his arms carefully and lead him from the stadium. All the while, Loki wanted to run; from any and all here. To run from the Aesir, from Asgard, from Thor. He hated them all!

They finally arrived at the cell. Loki dragged himself within, moving to the middle of the room only to drop on his aching knees like a dead, but still moving soul. His shoulders hung low, his head dropped and hair falling to cover his face a bit. Sweat upon his skin made the strands cling. He was still taking deep breaths, but they were more to calm his rush of emotions then to catch his breath. Thor removed the muzzle, before taking a few steps back and he observed.

Thor's heart ached more than ever at the sight of his brother's back. It was covered in skin red from the roughened red skin and blue from the stain of his blood, which still flowed from his back. Loki fell forward, catching himself as he was now on his hands and knees. He huffed in and out, his shoulders and back rising and falling. He felt a bit weakened from such loss of blood.

"Gods, brother…" Thor sighed, coming forward with a new healing stone. He had brought a bowl of warm water and a rag when they had returned, and set it to the side. He dabbed the rag in the water, but he hesitated and swallowed. "…This will call for more pressure, to clean your wounds." He informed Loki reluctantly.

Loki said nothing, he just continued his breathing. He folded his arms, resting with his elbows, his head laid upon the cold, rough ground. His body shook slightly, slightly moving back and forth with each breath in and out.

Thor did not wish to do this. In this moment, he did not want to be the one with this task to heal his brother. He knew the process of cleaning would cause so much pain, and he did not wish that. He hated the thought of causing his brother pain. But who else did Loki have here? And would Thor himself really be willing to allow any other to offer assistance?

Thor made sure the rag was soaked well enough in the warm water, wringing it out a bit before he lifted it to Loki's back. He hovered it over his brother's back as he felt hesitant, but as water droplets fell onto Loki's back and he flinched at the contact, he knew he must begin. And he did, starting at Loki's left shoulder, enough pressure to rub of the dirt and he ran the rag down Loki's back.

There was a hiss and a near-whimper as Loki gritted his teeth, his fists clenching. Gods, the pain….it seared through him. Yes, he'd known far worse, but that was only a memory now…and the experience had never lasted as this one had, nor had he had to truly actually have to experience it over and over. His hands moved to grip at the ground, his rough fingers becoming rougher.

When Thor finished that side of Loki's body, it was pale and slightly reddened with hints of blue still there on Loki's still open wounds. But that was only a small course, a small line down Loki's back, as Thor gazed at the rest, covered in darkened dirt, blue blood and pale reddened skin. He began again, moving to the next dirtied section of Loki's back. It was closer to the middle of his back and contained more of the overlapping wounds. So with the pressure there, Loki let out an angry, pained cry.

Thor winced at the sound, nearly stopping, but he continued his job. He could not stop, for it would only prolong the pain. He continued down, despite his brothers' twitches of pain. "Stay as still as you are able, brother, if you can."

"You think such a task is easy?!" Loki spat, his voice breaking with pain-brought emotion.

Thor sighed. "No, I do not…" he rubbed a little harder on the crusted blood, coated in dirt.

"Ggg-gah…nnn…" Loki groaned at the pain, gripping his fists tighter.

Finally, Thor had finished another section. And he began again, after cleaning the rag. He ran the warm, wet cloth down Loki's back as the prince wince as it ran over each of the wounds, even more on the overlapping wounds.

He cleaned yet another section, before beginning down the very middle of his brothers' back. He made sure the rag was cleaned and warm, before he began running it down his back.

"Nnn…g-gah…!" Loki cried out, twitching even more.

"Still, brother, I am halfway finished." Thor tried to comfort him with his soft tone.  
He continued, only to have Loki twitch and fall away, trying to crawl from his brother.

"Enough!"

"Loki, your wounds must be cleaned befor-"

"NO! I will not take it any longer!" his voice broke as he defied his brother. "The pain…is too much, I can't…can't take it!" he was shaking, his eyes shut tight and Thor knew he was witnessing his brother slowly breaking. "I will not take the pain you damned Aesir cause me!"

"I am not doing this to you, brother! I'm trying to help you!" Thor remarked.

"What help are you!?" Loki yelled at him, his reddened, wet eyes opening to glare at Thor. "You stand by and watch as crack after crack, I am caused pain! You're far too worried about pleasing father, you can't truly worry for me as you claim you actually do! Because in that kind of care, you would have to defy Odin and that is nearly impossible of you now!"

Thor stayed silent at Loki's accusations, trying to calm his anger at such.

"Funny…how defying father so foolishly before, for no needed reason did not guilt you in the slightest back then. And yet now, when it is I who is at stake, you cannot bring yourself to do so…and you say you care for me!?"

"Do not question my care, Loki! There is nothing I can do without making it worse for you! You know Odin would make it worse upon you, if we attempted any sort of defiance against his word! I am not risking your punishment being worsened, when all we must do is last through this. That is all you must do, brother, and then you will have paid for your sins! I know you can fight through this, you are strong!" Thor spoke to Loki, his tone intense as he wished to convey all he said to him.

"You know nothing of me, you damned fool! Leave me be!" Loki yelled at Thor. His voice broke so, from the yelling of pain during his punishment; it had strained his voice.

"And you know nothing of me, brother!" Thor responded. It took him a moment, glaring at Loki who glared back, before he took deep breaths to calm himself. He looked at Loki once more. "…Truly, we do not know one another as we should. But we can change that, my brother. It does not have to be this way."

"Of course it does!" Loki retorted. "So why keep faking such care for me? Just go along with your dear Odin's orders and leave the traitor to be punished!"

"Enough, I will not listen to you question my care, Loki." Thor said, for it truly wounded him when he did so. For his feelings to be so questioned… Thought of as so insignificant by this one person…it caused him pain he could not fully understand himself.

"There's no care to truly question, Thor! You're not my brother, and never were you my brother! Our lives have been a jest, the love a weak lie!"

"My love for you is no lie, Loki!"

"Then what more is it?!"

"It's more than I can take!" Thor yelled back, having enough. "My love for you is something I hold as a blessing and a burden, for I worry it is not nearly enough to save you! Yet still, Loki, I…."

Loki's eyes narrowed, his brows furrowed with confusion. "You what?"

"…I love you so."

There was silence between the two of them, as Loki stared into Thor's pained, gentle blue eyes. And soon, he looked within Thor's minds. And his eyes went wide as he saw just how Thor loved him.

"…Loki..I have failed you, I have wronged you. You have wronged me in return, and we've come to a war between each other… But please, I no longer wish that. I have never wished that. Never, in all our long lives together, have I ever wanted you anywhere but at my side." Thor told him in his softest tone.

Loki looked away, glaring, not wanting to hear Thor's words. Yet some part of him listened.

"My brother…my friend…my equal… I have only ever wished to be by your side. I have only ever wanted to protect you, fight with you… show you the love that we so neglected in you before. I wish to show you…the love I have for you, the love that pushes me to keep fighting for you, that tells me that there is hope for you to find your light again."

"My light?" Loki laughed, disbelieving. "What is light and love to a God of Mischief and Chaos?!"

"Something he is lacking and craves in his deepest of hearts, but will not allow himself to admit." Thor said and Loki glared at him in anger at such words. "Loki…hear me now, when I say this… You thought yourself less favored…shunned, unloved… But never shall I shun you. I shall hold you by my side for the years to come. Never have you or will you be less favored. You thought you were not favored by Odin all these years, brother? …Yet you seem not to notice, that all this time… I have favored you above all. You were my best warrior, my fiercest intellect in battle. Never did I wish to go into any battle or on any adventure if you were not at my side. I care not for what the warriors or even Sif had to offer on our ventures...for none of them compared to you. You were favored by me."

"You found another to favor, brother, you forget that." Loki spat.

Thor looked to him in confusion.

"That woman…the one, who over a span of THREE DAYS with you powerless in her world, was somehow able to break through that hard skull of yours and bring you to the change you needed to be king. And yet over our many years together, never did you open yourself to me like that…! That woman, that damned WOMAN was able to reach you…was able to do what I always tried to do, so easily!" Loki accused, venom in his voice each time he said woman. He harbored such hate for Jane.

"Brother…I…"

Loki just laughed. "You confess favoritism and love to me, yet you have her, brother. And she's done so much good for you, has she not?"

"Loki, I care for her, but not as I care for you."

Loki laughed at that, disbelieving.

"Do not laugh at my words, brother, when I speak them true. She is a dear friend…and yes, I had grown fond of her. She was unlike any maiden I'd known here upon Asgard."

Loki looked away, not wishing to hear this.

"But brother, she does not hold my feelings… I learned that, over my time away from her. The more I was away from her, the more the feelings weakened and the less strongly I felt."

"You tell me this why?"

"The longer you were gone, the longer I thought you to be lost or dead, my heart ached in the worst sort of pain I have ever felt. When father told me of your return by arriving on Midgard…I was angered by how you returned…but Loki, my soul…has never be pulled to higher heights knowing that you were still alive…." Thor raised a hand to Loki's face and his voice became soft and shaky at the memory as he said, "I thought I'd lost you…"

Loki watched his eyes, trying to deny the love that he could see in his brothers' mind. He swatted his hand away. "You DID lose me. Your brother is long gone…"

"No…he still lives within…" he touched Loki's chest when he said this. "Within, he has grown, has been forced to change, but I know you are there… Loki, I know you are there."

Loki's brows furrowed, his spirits seeming to lift strangely at Thor's words. No…they weren't brothers…they weren't equals…they were nothing, and they would always be nothing…

"You think I still love Jane, but you are wrong." Thor said.

"I am?" Loki laughed, barely listening to or caring for Thor's words.

"You think she holds such strong, unbreakable and powerful feelings. Of love, longing and protection." Thor said, seeing that his were right when Loki glared away, trying to ignore him. "But she does not hold such feelings… Loki, you do."

Loki shut his eyes tight, shaking his head.

"…Loki…" Thor sighed, wishing the truth he spoke would comfort Loki. Wishing his confessions of his true feelings, his true love would affect Loki. But it seemed to only anger him.

"…No!" he stood then and began pacing the cell. "It's to late! For all of you, all you wish to do for me! Fathers' attempts at teaching me a lesson, mothers' wishes of me changing and your wishes of me allowing your love—it is all too little, too late! You let me fall, you all let me BELIEVE I was an Odinson! I was destined to have the path of a King! Only to be shunned by my kingdom, and pushed aside by all others! Pushed to the shadows where I belonged, the monster outcast who should have never been allowed to live as an Aesir!"

"Loki, stop-"

"NO!" Loki yelled at the top of his lungs, no matter how it pained him to raise his voice. "I will not be stopped! I will never again be silenced by the likes of Odin OR you, I've had enough! My words mean little to NOTHING, if I am to be shut off and I will not have my words drowned out! You will listen to ALL I have to say, whether it be wisdom or venom, you will TAKE my words! I was left with NO ONE to speak to me what I needed to hear, or listen to what I had to speak of and in that loneliness I realized just what my fate was to be. And that fate has brought me here!"

Loki stood before Thor now, pointing an accusing finger at him as his hands were still chained.

"It is the fault of all you Aesir that I have become what I have become!"

"The fault is not all our own, Loki, YOU made actions that we did not force you to make!" Thor said.

"And where would I be now, had I not been lied to!? Had you not been such an idiot as to go start a war and lead me and leave me to the truth you caused me to discover!?"

"I did not-"

"It was YOU who had us go to Jotunheim and had I not gone, Thor, I never would have known! I wouldn't have known of the lie! You….you are the REASON my world was shattered, and now you expect to pull it back together?!"

"I am not the sole cause of this, of any dark part of your life, Loki! I take blame, but I will not take it all!"

"You will take what I throw at you! If I throw blame, you will take it! If I throw lies, you will take them! If I throw hate….oh, how I HATE YOU! ALL OF YOU!" Loki cried out, gripping his hair in his hands and falling upon his knees.

It was then Thor truly witnessed his brother breaking down. The walls were falling as pain racked Loki's body, anger and hurt rushing through him like ever-lasting emotions, fatigue wearing on him as tears welled in his eyes, a few falling.

Thor moved closer to him as Loki mumbled to himself of his hate for all he knew. It was when Thor heard Loki speak of hate of himself that he stopped him. He took Loki's face in his hands, surprising the dark-haired God. "Don't you fall that low… You have let life darken you so, brother, do not let it cause you to hate yourself."

Loki laughed without humor, his eyes dark as he watched Thor. "You think I haven't fallen so low before, Thor? For so long now, I have harbored a hidden hate for myself. I simply push it aside…"

"Why do you hate yourself?"

"….For living." Loki said, his brows furrowed as he spoke those words as if they were such a painful but obvious truth. "For the disappointment I am, as I live. The failure, the pain, the hate, how I am pushed away…shunned…counted at lesser… This is the life I lead and you think I can love myself for having such a life?"

"That does not have to be your life." Thor said, his thumbs rubbing away the tears.

"It's the only life I have left!" Loki tried to move his face out of Thor's hold.

"No…it's not… I will give you another life, brother, I promise you. I will give you what you need, to live the life you were meant to…just let me…let me show you the life you can live…"

"No, no, no…." Loki shook his head back at forth, trying to pull his face free and he was just doing so.

But Thor took his face in his hands once more. "…Loki…let me show you…" he said so quietly, so softly before suddenly he pulled Loki's face to his and their lips touched.

Thor's were soft, barely moving, and completely tender upon Loki's. Loki's eyes had gone wide, brows furrowed in such confusion and emotion. Another tear fell free from the side of his face. He moved his hand to Thor's neck to pull him away, but as Thor's lips suddenly moved so lovingly against his own, the attempts to pull Thor off of him failed. His hand rested against Thor's neck, nearly massaging it as Loki tried to pull his mind together to decide what action to take. His eyes were nearly shut as he watched Thor's passionate face, seeming as if he truly wished to show Loki.

Loki shut his eyes then… that small part of him which clung to his brother's care, the part of him he fought, seem to awaken. And as it awoke, as it felt Thor's lips upon his, it embraced what Thor was trying to show him. His hand upon Thor's neck suddenly gripped the hair, pushing Thor's lips against his own.

And within this kiss, within Thor's mind which Loki gazed into, there was hope. Something Loki thought foreign and impossible….but there it was. Small, but shining, shining so independently and strongly, he knew it would never go away.

Thor pulled away suddenly, taking deep breath as he opened his eyes to look back at Loki. He felt his spirits rise, noticing the flicker of hope, more than he'd ever seen in his brothers' eyes in a while.

"I will show you." He promised, but Loki smashed his lips upon his once more.


End file.
